Since the internet sometimes send me in the fetal position, I am for now just going to stare at the happy corners of it.
(via tallpoppysyndrome)
If not for Halloween, Easter would be my favourite zombie- related holiday.
Peep jokes are always funny.
I’M BEAUTIFUL IN MY WAY ‘CAUSE GOD MAKES NO MISTAKES! I’M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY I WAS BORN THIS WAY!
MAKE HIM EXPRESS HOW HE FEELS AND MAYBE THEN YOU’LL KNOW YOUR LOOOOVE IS REAL! EXPRESS YOURSELF!
WAIT, ARE YOU SINGING MADONNA?
YEAH, ISN’T THIS ‘EXPRESS YOURSELF’?
NO. IT’S GAGA. ‘BORN THIS WAY’.
REALLY? ARE YOU SURE?
I THINK SO.
… DOES IT MATTER?
… NOT REALLY! LET’S JUST KEEP DANCING!
I wish Beyonce & Jay-Z would get on stage and present their baby to the world like Mufasa did in the Lion King.
Phil Collins - Two Worlds
Dashboard Confessions: I like Tarzan. I love Phil Collins. I adore this song. I have a mean dance to it.
Lottle
An alternative for saying a little when it would be impolite to say a lot.
e.g. Can I have just a lottle of that lasagna?
What You Remember: Humpty Dumpty is an egg.
But Actually …
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again.
Nope. Not a single mention of an egg in the whole poem. I mean, egg or no egg, it’s weird that the king’s horses would even be involved in this kind of restoration project, but even that’s not as strange to me as the fact that I have never once questioned Humpty Dumpty’s egg status, even though it’s never explicitly brought up. Going just by that poem, there’s no reason to assume he’s an egg; he could just be a guy who fell and cracked his skull open, which makes the king’s desperate and futile attempt to “put him back together” much more tragic (and the involvement of the horses even more suspect.)
Doing the least amount of research expected of me, I clicked around Wikipedia for a while to dig into old nursery rhymes and learned that the story of Humpty Dumpty actually used to be a riddle, the answer of which was “egg.” When the answer to the riddle became too well-known, everyone stopped calling it a riddle and started calling it a nursery rhyme. This is an unsatisfactory answer to me for a number of reasons. For starters, that sounds like a really shitty riddle. “A thing fell off of a wall and broke — can you guess what it was?” How is “egg” a better answer than “glass bowl named Humpty” or “a dude”?
Additionally, the whole riddle thing is just one possible theory. No one seems to know where this original riddle version of Humpty Dumpty is or where it came from, and there are competing theories that suggest that Humpty Dumpty was either a tortoise, a cannon or a stand-in for King Richard III, designed to make some kind of satirical observation about the king. That he was bad at sitting on walls? Wait, if Humpty Dumpty is supposed to be King Richard, who the hell is “the king” supposed to represent in this satire? This is so dumb.
It looks like we’ll never know for sure whether or not Humpty Dumpty was supposed to be a stupid riddle, but we do know that we all grew up knowing, without a doubt, that the character in this brief nursery rhyme was absolutely an egg. And that’s weird.
Or an intelligent question. Or any question, really. … You probably just shouldn’t talk to me at all.
I wanna beach. If you want to come, we will roadtrip and buy lots of Dr. Pepper and Starbursts and play loud music on my iPod like Karen O and Neon Trees and we will roll the windows down with our hair down, too, and it will get all tangly but we won’t care.
